Locations of Site Visitors

Hermit in Honolulu

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
solarsyrup
johannestevans

the reason you're meant to read from a bunch of different sources and attempt to interpret and discuss them in school btw is bc your reading comprehension is based on your ability to discern different and varied meanings in a text

like some ppl on socmed wilfully misinterpret text and so many others entirely lack this critical skill and rely on tiktokers and youtubers to explain sentences to them and in the absence of someone to explain they just entirely go off their own projected vibes and make shit up

like it's. honestly frightening and bizarre, the takes i regularly see, that are so far beyond a "bad faith reading" and are literally not a reading. someone just saw three words they recognised, imagined a scenario they might be used in instead of reading the post, then got MAD

monzterzack
starlightomatic

really souring on the communal living thing tbh

starlightomatic

like... there are so many different people's needs, and accommodating them all ends up restricting everyone's behavior

you need strong systems for cleaning and food and if no one is putting those into place, things get chaotic

it's very easy for a space to get messy. if each person leaves one plate, one personal item, and one bit of detritus in the common space, suddenly it's a mess. and it's hard to clean up that mess when you don't feel responsible for most of what's in it

unless you're clearly assigning responsibilities, stuff falls through the cracks.

in a standard, romantic-partnership-style household, there's someone dedicated to helping you make sure your needs get met. but with a ton of people... let's say no one feels like doing communal grocery shopping, but i don't have a car. i have to hope someone agrees to go shopping for me or take me with them. tbh i am actually cared for because the people i'm living with care about me, but it's anxiety-inducing not knowing.

i also know i'm not easy to live with either communally or otherwise cause of messiness and pathological demand avoidance. i kind of thought communal living was a way for me to deal with that and there are ways in which it helps and ways in which it doesn't.

idk, i still like the concept but im much more skeptical than i was.

i've also been thinking for years that an in-between setup -- eg several households go in on a house that's been cut up into apartments, and each household takes one plus there's an extra for communal gathering -- would be good. but tbh even there it would be a struggle, as there's still common space and common decisionmaking.

i still have strong critiques of the nuclear family model, but the communal model has more issues than i realized and i think i was looking at it through rose-tinted glasses.

thefrayna

ngl it seems fairly obvious to me that communal living would require community to work

starlightomatic

community is one thing, but "we like each other and enjoy gathering" isn't enough. you need chore charts, house meetings, food prep schedules, laundry calendars, a grocery list system, etc. and even with those it's still hard to keep things working

nerdyqueerandjewish

Yeah I did communal living with friends for a decade and we thought that our shared beliefs, each-according-to-their-own-ability- each according-to-their-own-need would make things go smoothly but … idk. I don’t regret it but I’m glad it’s not my current life. We had many more needs than abilities among all of us because we were all dealing with different degrees of disability. I’ve also seen people really weaponize language around justice and liberation to avoid responsibility/accountability. I live with my partner now and obviously there can be issues there too but it’s such a relief to be like - I just need to figure things out with one other person. Now I’m just working on getting everyone to move within walking distance of each other so we can enjoy the ease of spending time with others while still each having our own space.